my limps are aching like shit now
i'm sure it will get worse by tmr
was being forced to do weights today
like what? i never like to do weights lar
but becos of performance, i need it badly
there goes my arms, tsk tsk tsk

anyway, today is a very important day
it marks the end of projects and assignments
it also marks the start of study week and start of exam
also, it marks the end of my wonderful life in ngee ann
how sad? awwwww

and supposingly i have gort no more IS class tmr
but yet, i still have to go back school
just for the meeting with our laison officer for iap
am i suay or am i suay? tell me lar. ):

ahh fuck, i'm having a headache again. ):
i have been experiencing these on and off aching
worried that it might be something growinggg in my brain
or perhaps i'm just thinking too much
dont know lar
haha

celebrated yeehuay's birthday today at canteen 1
with her BIG birthday card done by fishball and shu
and her birthday present from all of us
she was just toucheddd! :D
we made her cry
emotional girl
tsk tsk tsk

stayed back in school today
because i wanted to start working on my TD assignment
end up, it was kinda wasted cos i din do much
i've wasted alot of time already
time to start working hard now
also i'm gonna have my LAST presentation tmr
the last presentation in ngee ann
need to start preparing and all
it all takes time
and i'm running out of time now
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i was suppose to have a surprise birthday celebration for a friend today
but end up the plan was cancelled because of some spoilers
so i stayed home today and i tot i could start doing my TD assigment
who knows, the topic is so chim that i had difficulty doing research on it
when i got sick of getting no where on the research
i went on to watch tv, my fav past time. hahahah!
till now, i din managed to gather much information

i spent my whole weekend watching tv!
how cool is that uh. LOL.
except for the gym session ytd morning with some trackers
my eyes were glued to that tv at home!

okay, i'm going to get busy again with my vietnam trip presentation
as well as rushing my TD assigment due on wednesday
i need to sort of redo my pro com report also
so many more things to do. ):

it's friday
so glad that i can finally rest well

project nutz was goood
everything went well
though some unhappy things did happen
overall we still had lots of fun

and yeah we understand that we've expired
but you dont have to make use of ur authority
there are many things that i see it with my eyes
hear it with my ears
but i just dont want to bring it up
because i know it'll cause alot of unhappiness
what you did today was really way too much
it was kinda upsetting to know that
people actually dont appreciate you for all your help
hais, forget it lar.

after today, it's left with ONE WEEK!
how should i spend my last week of school in Ngee Ann?
haha! i know it's gonna be a fruitful one
track, fav3 people, HR friends
yes, that would be all i need and all i'll miss
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so sad lar. ):

anyway, i have a very funny and cute fishball sister!!! HAHAHA.

finally completed our IS projects
like really finally finally, haha

tmr's project nutz
this year's participants seems alot more than last year
so i think it's gonna be rather competitive man
especially the clubs/society category
wah, exciting larh
hahaha!

it's gonna be another 2plus hours' break tmr
i'm still thinking what i should do
tsk tsk tsk.

hokay, i'm super tired
considering the fact that it's friday tmr
i think i can sleep better without worrying about project due date
weather is rather cold these few days, so keep warm alright people
goooooodnight and sleeeeep tight. ((:

fcuk.
i dont understand why is it so unfair
like seriously, how do you expect us to respect you
when you yourself aint worth the respect
if you can give us a good explanation
it will definately make me feel better

i dont have much to say
just feel very disappointed
and frustrated over that matter

like really fucking pissed off.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

seriously, what is wrong with me today
i know i am weird
i know i aint behaving like myself again
but i really dont know what is wrong
i cant tell how i am feeling
sad or angry or tired or what?!
again, i'm sorry for those being affected by me.
it's now left with 2 weeks and 3 days. ):

i think i am going mad
and i am very tired
sick of all the stupid projects
it's never ends
2 more IS presentations
1 more vietnam trip presentation
1 more individual assignment
and exams will start
12 x 5 = 60 lectures
i cant imagine
i have to freaking memories 60 lectures
it's gonna kill
for sure
hais

now, i am trying to do my wisp and proj com slides
but i think my brain cells aint working well
how?! i need some apple teaaaa. hahaha!

oh hey dern, thank you so much for your help!
i totally appreciate it and hope you like the choc!
please get MORE rest and drink MORE water okay.
get well soon sexy! ((:

Just for laughs:

Dont they look like twins? HAHAHAH

LOOK at pea's leg, cannot TOUCH the ground. LOLLLL!

same goes for ahma! LAUGHS*

today IR class ended early AGAIN
we decided to go out of school for lunch
went to adam food centre
had nasi lemak with the rest
then we headed back to school for tutorial

we're now left with 2 more weeks
i know it's very short
time will just fly pass very fast
i have to be mentally prepared
attachment life isnt going to be easy
just gort to know which company i'm being posted to
i have no idea what banyan tree does
but yeah, i'm going to work there
the good thing is it's quite near my house and it's near ngee ann
and the bad thing is, i have to take 184 to work
makes no diff from going to school
but at least it's better than working in CBD area

okay,i need to start on my WISP already.
alot of work to be done! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

i cant believe i acutally spent my whole week end doing my integrated project. other than the birthday celebration at dexter's place, i dont have much entertainment already. this is seriously the worse weekend ever

urgh, nightmare please
the worse thing is
after the submission tmr
i still have my IS project
all not even 1% done yet
can you feel the stress in me
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

and i think july is really a LOUSY month man
many people around me aint feeling good this month
i have no idea why
is there like a curse or something
tsk tsk tsk

Buddy, i know you're having a hard time trying to move on
i hope you'll be strong and you know you can always count on me
no matter what happens, you are never alone
my phone is 24/7 by my side
so reach me whenever u need to
i'm willing to put aside my other things anytime just for you
i hope my happy sweet buddy will be back soon.

urghh. at this very very moment, i'm still at stuck pea's place!
OMG. it's getting late. time to go home now.
GOODNIGHT world. ((:

I'm still trying to get back myself
i tried to make myself happier
i tried to make the people around me happier
but i think i failed
didn't i?

although i was abit crazy/mad/shen jing bing today
at least i know i feel better like this
i don't want to be emo or upset over small little things anymore

guess what? after being so high and crazy for a few hrs in school
headache suddenly strike me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
after iemp tutorial, we stayed back to discuss some project stuff
then i cabbed home because i cant tahan the pain anymore
you can never imagine that kind of pain
i popped 2 panadol pills and napped for 2 hours
now, i'm still having a slight headache

i hope tmr i'll feel better after a good night rest
headache no more please ):
okay, i need to rest now.


gooodnight everybody! sweet dreams. ((:

i suddenly have the urge to give up everything and just go for attachment! this has been on my mind for a few days already
seeing myself getting upset over little little things in school
struggling with project related matters
i just feel like running away for GOOOD!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i know i'm contradicting myself
in my previous posts, i kept saying how sad i was
how unbearable i was to leave my comfort zone
and all those emo shit stuff

now, i dont feel the same anymore
it's like that kind of sad feeling no longer exist
there isn't much for me to be sad about in the first place
there isnt anything or anyone for me to get upset about actually
for the past few weeks i know i had the mindset of having great friends in school or even i have many things that i cant put down yet

after a few days of thinking and self reflection
i think, that kind of closeness which i mention was just imaginary
perhaps it wasnt true at all
i need to stop all these imagination
i need to move on with life
i need to i need to i need to!

and after so many things that happened
true enough we did got closer
but i believe, there is still something that is limiting our closeness
i have no idea what that something is
but it is really there
the kind of feeling i get now is really something like
''okay we can only be this close and no more further, fullstop''
no matter how hard i tried
that's just the maximum i can go
i guess i had enough of all these nonsense
it's time to put it to an end
there is a saying that goes
''if it belongs to you, no one can take it away from you''
i shall just let things go the way it should be
there's really no point in me hogging onto something that doesnt belong to me at all

alright, this post may seems abit 'chim' to you all
but yeah this is how i really feel now
it's complicated and hard to understand
unless you know me well enough
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

how am i feeling now? : i just want to get away from what i have now. like everything and anything. to start everything afresh!

i don't know why i behaved in such a way today
perhaps my mind just wasn't right
I'm sorry if i have made anyone upset or angry today
thousands of apologies!

for the past few days or perhaps the past few weeks
i can feel that i am not behaving like myself
like i say, alot of things has been going on
which resulted me in thinking alot
maybe I've yet to find back the real me

although sometimes i don't voice out
it doesn't mean that i don't care or i got mood swing
its simply because of my character
i guess right now at this very moment
there isn't anyone who really understands me

looking at how time flies
reminiscing the past
i realized its time to grow up
this is the stage where most people will hate
imagining themselves being a working adult
with no more exams and projects
life's gonna make a big change
its hard to accept
but well, this is life!

i don't know what rubbish i'm talking here. ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
life is such a pain lar. i really really dont wish to grow up yet.

SUMMARY - i dont feel gooooood! ):

Once upon a time
there was a group of friends
all were in the same cohort
although majority were in the same class

then one day
they realised that one of them
is super slow in terms walking speed
and the speed in doing things

then they decided to call her AH MA!
this is how the story started

Initially, they werent that close
it was until an overseas trip to vietnam
that the bond between them got stronger

during the 6 days trip in vietnam
they all had alot alot of fun together

laughter and more laughter
indeed very memorable

on the last day of the trip
they had their family photo taken at the airport
it was sweet and bitter feeling

the plane landed at the airport
everyone went home to rest

a new school term began 2 days later
the bond between them got stronger and stronger
they began to hang out with each other more
they began to understand each other better

HOWEVER the sad thing is
in 3 weeks and 4 days time, they are going seperate ways
it's really painful to see it happen
but they cant do anything to change the fact

the only thing they can do now is to
treasure the times they have together
have more bonding session together
and most importantly is to keep in contact even though they seldom see each other

And the story ended here.


This story is dedicated to my dearest:
AH MA and her GRAND DAUGHTERS (Amabel, Zhiyu, Shermain, Hui'er and myself) If you babes are reading this,

Just wanner let you all know that it's been my greatest pleasure having to know all of you. I really really treasure the times we had together. Though the semester is ending very soon, i hope our bond will not stop growing!

I love our happy family! Hugs and Kisses! <3

With love,
huixin((:

while many of my friends are now reconsidering whether to go for iap anot, i've been telling myself this ''i live my own life and i make my own decision.'' i must admit that there are a few times where i doubt my own decison.

i've been asking myself whether i really wanner go for attachment.
partly its because i'm not prepared for work yet.
another reason is because of my friends in school.
i really feel that i belonged to the HR cohort now.
the bond that we have is getting stronger and stronger.
i really dont feel good seeing it go to a waste in one month's time.
the fun we had together. esp during HR bonding day, the meetings and not forgetting the most memorable vietnam trip. every memories stays and at this very moment, i'm still having that post-vietnam feeling! AHHHHHH. if only we can fly back there. ):

whatever it is,
i've already made up my mind.
chosen the way i want it to be.
and i know what i want in life.
so i really hope i wont make the wrong decision. ):

i guess, it is time to face the reality.
to tell myself, parting is something we all have to go through every now and then. no one friend can stay with you for lifetime! which is genuinely true.

though it's really a pain to see that the semester is already3/4 gone.
amazingly, i managed to survive without my FAV3 people in the same class. i feel that my last sem in school is not wasted.
and i'm going to further make full use of my last 4 weeks to do what i really want. apart from projects, i need to spend more time with my FAV3 people, have more bonding with my HR friends as well as making time for training.

HOKAY! tmr is the submission date for IB report.
It's been a hell week for all of us. esp when we only started doing it on tues. YES, i think the report is paging for me now.
HANG ON THERE TO ALL THOSE RUSHING THEIR PROJECTS! have fun. ((:

24 hours a day is seriously not enough!
this week is really like hell mann.
many many things have happened and some are still going on.
seems like almost everyone is having problems now.

really thanks to those who've helped me clear my problem.
i'm glad things are okay now. THANK YOU classmates.
sometimes its not that i dont want to help. i do wish i could be of help, but the problem just lies with the lack of info. i may be ignorant about certain things. i may not ask much. however, deep down inside i really hope i can do something for my friends who care for me.
okay! enough of emo-ness.

I NEED TO START DOING MY PROJECT.

I NEEDDDDDDDDD 12 MORE HOURS EACH DAY.
THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH THINGS TO DO WITHIN 24HRS!!! ):

and i feel like i'm chasing after time. ahhhhhhhhhhhh.