okay!

i've been feeling very guilty for MIA-ing from track for a month or so.
i've been feeling very guilty for not fulfilling my promise to help the new comm when they needed help. i've been feeling guilty for not contributing anything to track ever since i stepped down. Yes, i know partly its my fault.

but then again.

put urself in my shoe and think.
if you have no more training buddies in track,

no more close friends in track and
you're the only on-going year 3 there. how will you feel?
to me, that kind of enthusiasm is no longer there anymore.

not because my passion for track is gone but because
i no longer feel like a big family anymore.

that is why i've been missing trainings lately.

Honestly speaking,

i would have quitted track long ago if not for some people.

They really made me feel that i belong to the team and the big family.
you look at the team now, everything is very different.
people from my previous batch have graduated,
people from my batch are either overseas or having attachment.
You can hardly find many who are true and nice.
people who attend trainings regularly is LESS THAN TEN!
For you information, this is the worst already okay.
i've never seen any trainings less than ten people WITH COACH AROUND.
simply said, thats really something wrong with the people in track now.

I would say track is the only CCA where you'll see all sorts of weird people.
like you'll see people who thinks that they're too good that they dont have to join us for warm ups and workouts. HELLO, if you're really that good, you would have been in the national team already! WAKE UP MAN! stop acting like some big shot okay idiot! i'm not trying to be sacarstic. I know this CCA is more like a indivivual thing where we take part in our own events and win for ourselfs. But, there's still a need for team bonding because this is a CCA and not an external club!For the past 1 year or so, i've been trying to bond the ppl together. End up, the whole thing just dont seems to work out. We even gave ppl the wrong idea that we're baised and stuff like that. Crap!

Anyway, i actually tot of qutting track a weeks ago.

since i have already gotten a gold for CCA achievement,
i can just quit and concentrate on my studies anytime i want.
but i think again, i still feel that i shouldnt.
because i still have a passion for it.
if i quit now, i know i'll regret some time soon.
so i've made up my mind to go for training when school starts.
maybe i wont be as enthu as how i was last year.

maybe i wont be there as often as last year.
or maybe i wont be putting in so much effort to bond the ppl together.

but, i'll still be there.

now that i've stepped down i can relax and enjoy trainings. COOL!

okay, i'm kinda looking forward to seeing the new batch of juniors coming in! ((:

i know i'm whinning again. if you think its v boring, you dont have to visit my blog.

its just a place where i vent my anger and jot down my feelings. so, if you feel uncomfortable or anything, just dont click on this link larh! save your trouble.

ONE last week to school reopen! My last week of holidays EVER so i'm gonna enjoy! :D